Also, any former patrons or employees of the Old Town Cafe in Missoula will recall that the owner of that place knew the importance of having background music at all times. He'd get all worked up if there was a lapse in the music.

So there's this big new kinda outdoor mall in LA. Opened about 6 or 7 months ago, The Grove. Like the 3rd St. Promenade in Santa Monica, you drive there, ditch your ride in a hellacious parking complex, then walk around like it's a real Main Street kind of place. I heard an "architectural commentator" on the radio actually say of the place, "It has the rhythm of a downtown." This effect was achieved by making all the store fronts look like different buildings. They also have a double decker street car that goes about 100 yards from one end to the other every 23.7 minutes or something. Of course, if you're driving by outside, the whole thing looks like a slightly spruced up KMart.

We all have opinions on malls, I'm sure, so I shan't trouble you, gentle readers, with mine. But I will tell you what freaks me out about his place: the ambient music of which Yale is so demanding in his indoor cunsumption rituals. I'll go along with you, Herr Kaul, on the need for tunes inside, but little speakers hidden in the landscaping unsettle me. They went out of their way to make this seem like a genuine outdoor shopping district, and then they install this auditory feature, this hallmark of the giant department store, the piped-in Muzak.

In the Homeland (MT) the divisions between Indoor and Outdoor are much more stark than in my new environs. Still getting used to it.

then walk around like it's a real Main Street kind of place. I heard an "architectural commentator" on the radio actually say of the place, "It has the rhythm of a downtown."

This is so fucked up on so many levels. Catch the circular logic here. Cool downtown is built, cool downtown is left in ruin as whitey flees to the suburbs. Whitey in attempt to marry the suburban life style with "the old way" recreates the very atmosphere that their soccer mom mini van lame fuckstick society killed in the first place. Sweet moses smell the roses.

God damn, very well put, Dom Perignot. That's a totally spot-on assessment of the situation.

And Haze: that's is trippy that you would bring that up today! Because just today the Denver Post ran my first-ever letter to the editor concerning just this sort of real-life facsimile mall farce that is all the rage in America nowadays.

Dig it: http://www.denverpost.com/Stories/0,1413,36%257E416%257E,00.html (scroll down a bit to my letter, "Fake Advantages" [I didn't write the headline])

Also, there's a mall near Boulder called Flatirons Crossing that has that same sort of thing— music being piped everywhere like the one you describe. This particular mall is supposed to simulate being out in nature, with babbling brooks and gravel "trails" and fake flora and boulders and all that. It's just beyond retarded. I'm stymied as to how people can find this sort of thing anything but a total outrage. I get pissed just thinking about it. What's with all this unreality bullshit? Why is this country becoming such a stupid joke?

James Howard Kunstler for president, goddamn it.

Why is this country becoming such a stupid joke?

"The same people own the media that own the White House that own the
Congress that own the oil fields, all work together to give a false view of the world to the American people," -Gore Vidal

Style over substance, consumption over consideration.

This place has an Art-Deco-ish movie house and a little park with fake kids flying a fake kite and splashing in the fountain, which has computerized jets synchronized with the Muzak. Mesmerizing. It really is like being in a early-80s movie about the future where you're the only one who hasn't been brainwashed. Does anyone remember "They Live" with Rowdy Roddie Piper?

Truely great letter to the editor Yale. The sheer weight of just how fucked up this country is just crushes me, but its nothing, compared to the weight of the knowledge that the american public just doesnt give a fuck about anything. I wish there were more educated militent kids like us out there.

Damn fine piece of citizenry letterage Yale. You are right on all points in your letter. It seems that city managers have short memories about what the last developer told them. Because it seems that each one is saying the same mantra about revitalization, blah blah blah. And then it just is the same strip box store mentality.
Of note: I remember the Cinderalla City Mall in Aurora CO built in the early eighties. They had faux streets and light posts along the mall floor. Really weird to see after the paint began peeling.
Anaheim had The CITY. Which was built as an urban unit with office towers, a mall, and movie theater and apartments. It had failed as its goal as an urban center by the time I frequented it and watched its demise.Alas no more China King. Eventually, they gutted the whole thing and turned it inside out and VANS has a skate center in what is known as the CityCenter outdoor mall. Weird trend in Southern California of turning inside malls into outside malls with actual live plastic trees with hidden music and water trickling sound effects.
The Anaheim downtown itself was paved over with Office buildings in an effort to bring in the business. Now Anaheim has no urban center other than Disneyland. Take a tip from Walt. Keep your mainstreets!
Thank you for your patronage!

What an elegantly worded tongue-lashing you gave in your letter, Yale. All fantastic points. I'd be curious to hear about what responses you may get from your neighbors (ie, how many people are actually content with the way things are developing).

Amy- that's what's so weird about it— most people around here see this sort of thing as a great leap forward, like a dream come true-- a new mall! In the article to which I was responding, it said that similar malls in other states were the #1 or #2 tourist attraction!

I say when a mall becomes a major tourist attraction (especially in Colorado with all the natural splendor), we have no business calling ourselves human beings anymore.

Thank you for the kind words about my letter, by the way!

R'k brings up a good point about dead and dying malls. Is there anything quite as depressing as a mall in the twilight of its life? I remember being in a mall in Beloit, Wisconsin that had like 10 stores open and 70 more boarded up and closed. It was one of the most dispiriting sights I've ever seen.

Just think: in a 20 years when Wal-Mart falls out of favor (i.e. when someone finds yet a better way to peddle crap to white trash), all those huge 2500 Wal-Mart stores are going to start falling into decay and becoming more of an eyesore than they are now. Kinda like how K-marts are looking these days...

I hit the link above but I think I missed the letter...or I'm too dense to find it. Can anybody help me?

Nate- it took me a while to find it too...

Just go over to the far right and click "Nov. 6: Porn on Cable"