Satan, And On A Related Note, Slayer
'Member back in the 80s when Geraldo Rivera had parents all freaked out about Satan-worshipping teenagers? It seems comical now, but back then, when we didn't have them dat-gum Moslems (sic) to use as bogeymen, it was scary-ass shit for parents.
There was this guy named Jeremy Wendt at my high school who was rumored to be a Satan worshipper. I think he may have even been interviewed by our school paper about his various rituals. All I know is that the guy was one scary-lookin' motherfucker. He was one of those guys that only came to school like twice a month, and when he did show up, he had a look on his face like he wouldn't mind beheading you with a rusty scythe.
Apparently me and my friend Tate were already cynical enough at that age to know that the whole Satan thing was a big joke. We got an old denim jacket somewhere and used a laundry marker to scribble a bunch of faux-Satanic shit on it, pentagrams and all that. When my mom saw it, she freaked the fuck out, which I really hadn't anticipated. I pleaded that we did it just as a joke, but there was no assuaging her. I'll have to ask her if she remembers that...
Speaking of Satan, the newish Slayer album Christ Illusion has been in very heavy in-car rotation lately. I've also been listening to it quite a bit while at work, but I started to wonder if maybe my violent foot-tapping and desk-drumming wasn't a bit obnoxious for the workplace.
Glancing over the track list, I noticed that the first track is called "Flesh Storm." Wow, really?, I said to myself incredulously. Slayer's been around 20-some-odd years, and this is really the first time that "Flesh Storm" has been used as a song title? How many hundreds of times has Tom Araya pulled the lever on the Slayer Song Title-O-Matic, and this is the first time those two words came up? I'd have thought that title would have gotten used up by like 1988. Likewise "Skeleton Christ."
I'm pretty much a Johnny Cum Lately as far as Slayer fans go. Many of my compeers of yesteryear were huge Slayer fans, but I had that pesky, irrational aversion to anything metal in those days.
Does anyone remember a store called Spencer Gifts? I think it may have been a national chain, but maybe it was just a Missoula thing. It was a place where you could get shit like Fundies (the underwear for two!), a farting doll named Phineas P. Phart, and a little canister of Red Hots with a label that said "Virility Pills" that cost like six bucks. Anyway, I remember that Spencer always had a wide selection of posters, and among the Catherine Bach and Lamborghini Countach posters was a full-size photo of Slayer in action, and the guitarists both had festooned their guitars with Dead Kennedys and Minor Threat stickers, and that always kinda made me want to like them, just like how Metallica used to always name-drop the Misfits, and that always made me think that maybe I should start liking Metallica.
My only complaint with Slayer is that their guitar solos are so interchangeable and nondescript. You could take the solo from "War Ensemble" off of 1990's Seasons In The Abyss and drop it into a song on this new album and not even know the difference. This is doubly weird because in the lyrics they tell you which guitarist played which solo, e.g. "Solo: Hanneman".
Well, that's Satan for you.
Slayer kicks ass, Ive seen them about 4 times and they always start the show with machine gun double bass, while in the background plays a Video of a guy carving slayer into his arm with a razor blade and then pouring alcohol on it and lighting his arm on fire as it bleeds. I personally love that.
I do not however have any Slayer records, as I have always viewed them as a bit of a novelty, very rigid and repetitive, like with the solos being so interchangeable as you mentioned. They are impressive live nonetheless.
In my opinion Slayer and Metallica were very very punk rock, the only difference was they're trained musician guys, and they infused more theory into what they did more than say DK or Minor Threat.
Metallica's recording up through Justice, I just cannot say enough about, I really do love those records.
- stets November 27, 2006 12:27The thing I remember most about Spencer's (which was in fact a chain), besides the black light posters, of which I purchased several over the years, was the vibrators. They had 2 kinds: big and small and they were both made of shiny metal and they were pointed, and I always remember thinking as little kid, wow wouldnt that hurt. They also had fart in a can which was cool too.
- stets November 27, 2006 15:53There was one thing at Spencer that I always really wanted, but I can't remember the name. It was like a red rubber face that you were supposed to take your anger out on. Also them things with a bunch of blunt metal pins where you were supposed to leave the imprint of your face in; those were pretty cool for at least five minutes.
I don't remember the vibrators, though. More likely I just didn't know what they were for...
- Yale Lung November 28, 2006 07:52The vibrators were in the same section as the 2 way fundie panties and the edible panties and all those, uh "adult board games". The section had an 18 and over sign that hung by chains from the ceiling above if you recall. I got kicked out of that section, like alot. LOL
That place also had this unmistakable scent about it, the feel happy and buy more shit smell of chemical strawberries and latex or something, obviously piped via standard corporate procedure.
- stets November 28, 2006 15:14LOL I am just wondering if you went to high school in Missoula?
- JSW December 05, 2006 05:52Indeed. Hellgate High, Class of 1990.
GPA: 1.8
- Starr, Y. December 05, 2006 05:58That is sooo funny... Was sitting here at the puter bored and decided to do a quick google on my name and see if anything would come up...... Jeremy wendt
- Jsw December 05, 2006 06:03You're him?!?!?!
Holy smokes, what a weird turn of events!
So, were you for reals into Satan back then, or was that just a rumor? And do I remember correctly that the school paper did a feature about you?
And what are you doing nowadays?
- STarr, Y December 05, 2006 06:13Dang, I forgot the most hilarious thing about the whole Satanism scare of the 80s, vis-a-vis my high school, was the dipshit sociology teacher who pronounced it "Santanic," as if it was some sort of Carlos Santana-related cult.
- Starr3 December 05, 2006 06:22Well, at that point in my life i wasn't really a "satan worshipper" in the sence. I did own and read "The Satanic Bible" but mainly i think i was just in it for the shock value.. My parents had the same reaction that your Mom did but she just let me discover myself.
The school paper did do an article about Satan Worship and i was quoted in it but it wasn't really about me.
It is kinda cool to think that 20 years later somebody rememberd my name lol cause I think that what I wanted at the time was to be notaced.
- JSW December 05, 2006 06:30I can't believe it took me so long to check into Yalestar only to discover a post about two of my favorite things: Slayer and Spencer Gifts. I LOVED that place! Ah, I can smell the chemical strawberry now ... as a kid, I used to get a kick out of reading the dirty greeting cards, although I found edible undies endlessly fascinating as well.
And then the Satanic guy ego surfing and discovering himself on here -- tripped out!
- Sarah Araya January 04, 2007 12:01And I forgot to say that the funniest thing about the return of the Satanist is that his prose is so breathless and lol-y. Not evil at all.
- Sarah Araya January 04, 2007 12:06