Crisis blah blah blah...
Yo, yo, rub-a-dub! The Archive of Royalty-Free Band Names is back! Take that, uh.... George W. Bush!
Also, I dug up all the archives dating back to day one. Except June 2001; that seems to have mysteriously vaporized (or "vapourized" for you Canadians in the audience). They're in the Archive section for all your research needs.
University of Montana- Copper Commons Dining Hall
Jan. 1996 - June 1996
Dishwasher (Of The Year, I might add...)
Starting Wage: $5.25/hr
Ending Wage: $5.25/hr
So then, the next batch of jobs I had were nowhere near as exciting as the ones I've wheezed on about thus far. After dropping apron at Casa Pablo's right around Christmas of '95, I spent about a month in total poverty. I honestly have no idea how I got by, because when you make just a bit above minimum wage, there's no way you can amass much in the way of savings.
So I spent my nights at home, playing Trivial Pursuit with myself, watching lots of reruns of "Beverly Hills, 90210," and taking naps. Then when January came, I got a student loan refund and a job washing dishes at the university dining hall, called Copper Commons.
My boss Matt was kind of a redneck, but a swell guy otherwise. He was really into amateur boxing, so he did this thing where he'd ask you to hold up one of those... you know those heavy cardboard boxes that hold the syrup for soft drink dispensers? He'd get me to hold up those boxes and he'd punch holes through it. That was a daily thing.
And if you've ever worked at a university dining hall, you know that they hire a whole shitload of students at the beginning of every semester. And there was a huge, 25-foot-long conveyor-style dishwashing machine, so all you had to do was scrape the food off the plates and load them into the dishwasher. Then another person stands at the other end and pulls the dishes off the rack and puts them away. It's really a two-person job, four if it's real busy. But there'd be like six people standing at each end of the dishwasher. Just too many people back there.
My shift started at 7:45am, and this was in January, so I'd have to walk from home to campus in the dark, and it was like ten degrees below zero. I remember listening to the Swingin' Neckbreakers on my headphones every day as I walked. I never ate breakfast back then, so I was fucking starving by the time I got to work. And seeing uneaten sausages and strips of bacon on the plates was too much for me to resist- I started eating off the dirty plates as they came back. My co-workers thought that was just unbelievably disgusting that I'd do that.
I was no stranger to the field of dishwashing; I fancied myself one of the all-time greats (though nowhere near Sam Adams), and felt a need to bring a bit less shame and a bit more glory to the profession. So I'd come in and take over the sink (where the large pots and pans got washed, as opposed to working at the dish machine), mainline some coffee, and just scrub like a maniac. Thus, at the end of the semester, my boss voted me Dishwasher of the Year, and when I saw him a few years later, he told me that he now called the award the Yale Kaul Award for Dishwashing Excellence.
My other fond memory from that job is as follows, and I think I've written about this before, but what the hell:
There was this Korean couple that worked there. I can't remember the girl's name, but the guy's name was Shook Mian Boon. My boss Matt would always refer to the guy as "You Shook Mian Boon Night Long." Holy merde, I nearly shit my pants laughing at that one.
That same semester I got another job laying out the UM student newspaper, the Kaimin. It was only one night a week, and I was wanting to get into graphic design as an adjunct to my cartography education, so it seemed like a good job. What really sucked about it, though, was the fact that the newspaper's budget only had enough money to pay a designer for four hours. But laying out the paper almost always took eight or more hours, so I was essentially volunteering my time there. And sometimes I'd be there until four or five in the morning when something went wrong. But doing that job paved the way for several other jobs as years went on, including working at Quark in Denver.
I vividly recall working there one night and the editor and some other girl were in there. My band Humpy came on the radio (college radio station) during the local music hour. Before I could announce, "Hey, this is my band!" one of the girls goes "sheesh! This band is HORRIBLE!"
Although probably hygenically low risk, eating off other people's dirty plates is in fact disgusting. You my friend may have crossed the line between man and bum. However a case in your favor could me made. To wit: if you were sitting at a table and a firend was done eating and you said "hey can I eat that bacon?" and did, that'd be OK right? So whos to say that the same plate on a conveyor belt a mere 25' away is not just as fair game. Gotta eat something on cold winter mornings. So in regard to this specific instance I say let the debate begin. Yale Kaul man or bum?
- ffej August 20, 2002 17:02Well, as I did happen to work at the previously mentioned establishment, as both a student and a full time non-student employee(I worked at the burger line), I would probably have to say this: I never ate off of somebody's leftover plate. However, I am torn between two schools of thought on this particular debate. 1) I find this particular practice pretty gross. 2) I find it pretty fucking funny that Yale has done it, and readily admits to it.
However, I am of the firm belief that the man is not a bum. A pretty funny guy, but simply too classy a cat to really be considered a bum.
But, that's still pretty crazy shit.
- Nater-Tater August 20, 2002 21:39Yeah, I'm totally classy! Well maybe not. But let the record show that I wouldn't eat something if it already had a bite out of it. I'd only eat entire sausages, bacon strips, etc.
Speaking of the burger line, sometimes when I worked the closing shift, the burger line people would bring back a big metal tray with pre-cooked patties soaking in their own juice. It was common for the dishwashers to fish a couple out and eat 'em.
- Yale! August 21, 2002 10:31Never having eaten off of a stranger's plate myself, I'll abstain from commenting on that for the moment. However, I just wanted to mention that if any of you have ever eaten at Paul's Pancake Parlor, you may have unwittingly eaten food that has crossed the mouth of another. Let me explain...
- Amy Jo August 21, 2002 15:14I ate at PPP once (I'll repeat, ONCE) and had some soup, which I didn't finish. The waitress cleared our table, and Jeff saw her put my left-over soup back into the big crock pot from which it was originally served. Uh, GROSS! I guess it just goes to show that when you eat in a "restaurant" you never really know what has happened to your food before it gets to you. And if Yale is the dishwasher, you never know what happens to it afterwards, either!
It goes back even farther in the food chain than that, really.
I worked at a salad dressing manufacturing plant; we also made prepared salads (potato salad, macaroni salad, etc.). The larger run items would be produced from big hoppers, but smaller runs would be hand dug from smaller mixers (small meaning about 150#/batch). Anyway, one guy was digging out a batch of mustard potato salad with a big 'ole dip of Kodiak in, when the guy next to him made him guffaw the whole lipful -- saliva included -- into the mixer. All stared in horror as the goo was assimilated into the food product . . . where it remained for shipment.
- Chris August 21, 2002 16:04Yummy! I almost medicated a batch of pasta at Zimorino's during my reign as Pasta Queen. I had a couple of pain killers (for migraines) in my shirt pocket while making pasta. The semolina flour was in this huge bin and once down to about 1/3 full, I had to lean in so far I was almost upside down. Well, it was enough for the meds to fall out of my pocket and into the flour bin. Luckily, I realized that they were missing and was able to fish them out before they were incorporated into some little kids' ravioli!
- Amy Jo August 21, 2002 17:10"Oh, Mommy, I feel funny!"
Ok, I admit it--I've eaten off someone's room service tray. It was at the Doubletree in Msla., it was an untouched piece of pizza, it was only in the hall for about an hour (I delivered it too, and had to inhale the incapacitatingly delicious aroma half way around the damn hotel) and I was pitifully hungover. It might have even been New Year's Day 1997. Why didn't I just grab something in the kitchen? Because it was complete chaos and the executive manager was there to make sure we never paused to wipe the sweat from our foreheads, let alone eat something.
Am I a bum? Yes, absolutely. But it was the best piece of pizza I ever ate.
- Scarah August 22, 2002 09:53Whoa, that's weird! I was just wondering the other day when I was in a motel if anyone would ever eat leftover pizza in a room. Hangovers lead to acts of desperation!
All these stories make me never want to eat out again. Well, I never eat salad dressing or spud salad anyway, but I can't wait to bring that story up the next time Glenda has a big mouthful of 1000 Island. Or pasta.
By the by, I'm gonna offer up the site for peoples' workplace anecdotes soon, so if you got more, I'll take 'em. As short or long as you like.
- Yondelle Starr August 28, 2002 13:14